


inside our microkosmos

by ProudHaikyuuTrash



Series: SakuAtsu Week 2020 [6]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Emotional Support, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kiyoomi loves Atsumu, Late Night Conversations, M/M, References to Depression, Sad Atsumu, late night thinking, mention of mental illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:54:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23594155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProudHaikyuuTrash/pseuds/ProudHaikyuuTrash
Summary: Written for SakuAtsu Day Six: Hurt/ComfortKiyoomi, Atsumu and Late night comfortsAtsumu leans forward until his head rests against Kiyoomi's shoulder, taking a shuddering breath as he buries his face into the curve of Kiyoomi's neck. Kiyoomi moves forward so the Atsumu is slightest more comfortable in their inconvenient position. Then he tucks Atsumu into him, lets his head fall on Atsumu's and wraps his arms around his boyfriend.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Series: SakuAtsu Week 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1691599
Comments: 5
Kudos: 328
Collections: Haikyuu, SakuAtsu Week 2020





	inside our microkosmos

At first Kiyoomi feels disoriented, confused by the coldness of the left side of the bed. He takes a few moments, letting the coolness of spring air sink into his skin and then he sweeps the covers off him and stands.

When he walks into the living room, Atsumu is sitting on the windowsill, knees tucked to his chest, lost in his thoughts as he stares out the window, the moonlight shadowing his delicate yet sharp features. Look at him like this --something aches in Kiyoomi's soul for him.

He moves into the kitchen, Atsumu not even acknowledging his presence, and gets working on making two mugs of coffee. The routine is familiar and in the fleeting light of the night it feels terribly intimate too.

He carries the two mugs into the living room, wordlessly passes Atsumu his as he takes leans against the windowsill Atsumu in sitting on and takes a sip.

Sometimes it's like this. When Atsumu gets too restless, too lost in his own mind they do this. Now that Osamu and Atsumu are not tied into one single entity, Kiyoomi takes over for the other twin and hopes his presence is enough to anchor Atsumu (most of the time it is).

Atsumu follows his lead, takes a sip from his mug and doesn't speak, eyes trained on the streetlights beneath. The silence is contemplative and Kiyoomi appreciates the distilled quietness. In the tranquility of the night, it feels like freedom—the constant anxiety that thrum under his skin is barely there and Kiyoomi can only bask in every single moment of it.

In the silence of the night it's Kiyoomi who becomes Atsumu's lighthouse, willingly lets their dynamic reverse because Kiyoomi knows and understands the way the world feels too loud, too demanding, too exhausting.

During the day when they are surrounded by people and noise and responsibilities, its Atsumu who becomes Kiyoomi's guide, makes sure that the world doesn't become too much to bear.

At night though, it's Atsumu who needs the support. At night there isn't anyone there to see the facade fall off and sometimes, after a whole day of pretence and accompanying loud teammates who has never ending wells of energy, it’s exhausting to even merely exist.

Sometimes even Atsumu's endless energy, his restlessness isn't enough to fuel him and more often than not it leads them to how their current predicament lies: with Atsumu just taking in the freshness of the night sky and Kiyoomi taking in Atsumu.

Honestly speaking, Kiyoomi isn't even sure how the cocksure, self assured Atsumu became like this. He's still self-assured, still demanding and pushy and annoying—but there are moments of hesitancy, days where Atsumu looks as if he wants nothing but to disappear.

Sometimes when Atsumu lets Kiyoomi peek into him, Kiyoomi sees traces of doubt, swirling anxiety and an insecurity that has burrowed itself deep within Atsumu. Sometimes, very rarely, Kiyoomi sees some of that old arrogance shine when Atsumu misses a serve and he pokes fun of him for it—there's always words at the tip of Atsumu's tongue that never sees the light, dies down with the glint in his eyes when his mind processes his surroundings.

Well—there was one thing wrong: he doesn't really wonder anymore because he _knows_.

He knows the root of that anxiety: it's the words of past teammates that finally hit every remaining shard of Atsumu's petal soft pride. It's the words that Osamu's mere presence shielded against—without Osamu there, there isn't a shield to stop any arrows from the past, no matter how old or blunt.

He knows the root of that anxiety: it's the sudden emptiness that overwhelms in the oddest of moments. It's the sudden nostalgia that is brought when the space next to Atsumu—the same one that was occupied for eighteen years—is empty, devoid of a familiar presence. Kiyoomi thinks he relates to this part of Atsumu the most because while he didn't have a twin brother to lean against, Komori had been beside him for years and years and years before they separated in the crossroads of life.

Kiyoomi knows the source of doubt: it's the space opposite the setter on the court. Despite of the monsters that Atsumu has dancing to his tunes, Kiyoomi supposes, nothing beats having your literal other half to share the joy of each victory and the frustration of each loss with. Neither twin may show it but it's obvious as a day how much they miss one another.

When Atsumu had drunk too much once a few years back, he had spilled his fears to Kiyoomi, babbled about his loneliness until Kiyoomi kissed him quiet and promised him forever.

Atsumu had told him about how he dreamed of the Olympics stage, to stand there and win it all. To bring gold for Japan and all those dreams of his had Osamu there ( _me and Osamu would be the best duo, Osamu will hit the winning spike, me and Osamu will conquer Olympics, make sure everyone remembers our name)_ but no Miya Twins existed any longer. It was Miya Atsumu only now, lonely and dreams half shattered, because Miya Osamu had decided the court wasn't where he wanted to be.

Sometimes Atsumu looks out of place on the court because even Kiyoomi had gotten used to the famous saying of high school: _take down one Miya, the other will pick up from there._ Kiyoomi, himself, had gotten so used to Atsumu and Osamu being a pair that it took him a while to get used to the sight of Atsumu alone on the court.

Atsumu's self assured and confident but rarely there is a sliver of hesitation, of doubt that stems from not being able to lean on a familiar shoulder anymore; but Kiyoomi knows Atsumu and he never worries because when Atsumu falls, he only rises stronger, higher.

For that he needs a silent apartment, silken night sky, twinkling stars, glimmering streetlights, a mug of coffee and Kiyoomi.

And Kiyoomi will always be there, maybe never providing the same reassurance as Osamu, but still emitting the same support and confidence in Atsumu that his twin does.

A gentle touch on his shoulder brings him back. Atsumu looks at him with fondness, eyes grateful and smile curving with overwhelming gentleness.

Kiyoomi takes Atsumu's empty mug and sets it down on the ground before gulping the rest of his coffee and settling his one beside Atsumu's. He takes a deep breath, searches for any jitters on his skin, any building panic and when he finds neither he stands up straight and opens his arms for Atsumu to fall into.

Atsumu leans forward until his head rests against Kiyoomi's shoulder, taking a shuddering breath as he buries his face into the curve of Kiyoomi's neck. Kiyoomi moves forward so the Atsumu is slightest more comfortable in their inconvenient position. Then he tucks Atsumu into him, lets his head fall on Atsumu's and wraps his arms around his boyfriend.

Like that they stay, wrapped around each other, sharing warmth and love and comfort in their little cocoon, until the sky lightens and the sun peeks out of the horizon.


End file.
